OH MY GOD!

Everyone’s buying guns and talking about the coming violence
and I keep saying (sarcastically) “Don’t worry. Man is basically
good.” They don’t seem to believe that and I must admit I also
have trouble with that idea.
I see and hear a lot of fear and worry. And as in many situations
when people are greatly struggling, my thoughts also turn more
philosophical, maybe even more spiritual.I’m wondering more,
questioning more. Challenge is good for me. I like it when I’m
thinking more. And in the process of writing, I’m forced to clarify.
If you want to take clear pictures, it helps to clean the lens
(make yourself clear to yourself) and use the lens cap (protect
your mind).
I don’t always like the way I think and I know that I am
vulnerable to being fooled. And the implications of this are staring
me in the face. There’s something wrong with the model.
“Ron Version 56” didn’t come with enough RAM and has a few
viruses. While I believe that it’s always good to be positive, I really
feel that there’s a bunch of us (or all of us) that aren’t as compatible
with life on this planet as we might think we are. And to tell you
the truth, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that we’re not
evolving into people who are more compatible. Or maybe I’m missing
something (as usual). But if I say “I’m missing something”….well…my
point exactly.
And if people aren’t out there to trick and deceive me, then why am
I concerned about identity theft? Why bother with putting things in
writing if the salesperson is “honest?” Why have keys and locks and
safes and pin numbers?
What I really believe is that the world is filled with liars and
thieves. The world is a dangerous place and it’s because of you and me.
Everyone seems to be permeated with something. Our minds and
affections seem to go the wrong way. We have serious fluctuations
and extremes of disposition that border on….what? Insanity?
Our imaginations go south. Our inner selves don’t seem to match
up with what we are pretending to be. We are so preoccupied with
how we look that we don’t even realize how big the gap is between
what we are on the inside and what we show the world. AND WE
KNOW THIS IS TRUE ABOUT US BECAUSE WE TRULY BELIEVE
THAT EVERYONE ELSE IS A SCUM-SUCKING PIG FOR NO
BETTER REASON THAN THAT WE KNOW OURSELVES VERY WELL.
Now it is natural to expect love and faithfulness and kindness
and honesty and humility from people if that is the way that we are.
But are we filled with all of these virtues? Well, if we look at ourselves
through a clean lens, we will see that there really isn’t a whole lot of
that inside of us. Quite the opposite. And that’s why we don’t expect
to see those qualities in others. We all of us are suspicious of others.
We condemn people’s motives without really knowing them. We
despise people who aren’t good at covering up their “bad” because
we see ourselves in them. And I mean we really despise anyone we
feel can see inside of us and really know our motives. THAT is the
person we will hide from, put our guard up in front of, wear the
mask for. We all recognize the fake smile. It’s like looking in a mirror.
We can pretend that we are altruistic. The reality is that there
isn’t much we do that doesn’t have our welfare most in mind.
Ask yourself why you choose to harbor resentment? Why is that
such a sweet thing? Why do we enjoy it when we see certain people
suffer embarrassment? and/or humiliation? Why do we choose to
lie and cheat? Is there some civil law that forces us to be this way?
And why are we defiant? When we cheat the clock at work (and
thereby cheat our employer who is paying us an hourly wage),
why do we feel the need to rationalize it? Why justify it if we believe
we are doing the right thing? Why compare ourselves with others in
order to continuethe self-delusion that we are “good people?” Why
would we need to compare ourselves with others if we were truly
convinced in our “goodness.” As it is, we are always comparing
ourselves with others because we are desperately trying to convince
ourselves that we are not bad people. If we can somehow convince
ourselves that we are not as bad as so and so,then we feel that makes
us good people. Is that really clear thinking?
I am convinced that almost nobody really believes that goodness
is real . I am also convinced that everyone wants to believe that they
are good people. In other words, I’m convinced that there is something
seriously wrong with all of us. We may be angry about our government's
involvement in a war, but there are other wars that are far more
important and closer to home.
We are at war with ourselves, with our families, with our fellow
citizens, with our employees and employers, with our local, state
and federal government, with our neighbors….the gays war against
the straights, the gays war with each other, the Republicans war
with the Democrats, etc. We are constantly at war and we
are constantly watching others war with each other. There is no
peace on earth and there never will be. Everything we do is
characterized by selfishness, greed, self-destruction and defiance.
And we cannot change ourselves.