I should know, I'm pretty self-centered a lot of the time

2 Corinthians 3:18

Self pre-occupation makes us unattractive to most everybody. It makes others feel they are unlovable, unworthy of our attention. People don’t grow close to a self-absorbed person. Their prison is one of total preoccupation with their own interests and comforts. Co-workers and associates will automatically distance themselves from the person who
is enslaved in this way.
The person who is imprisoned by self-centeredness actually lives a shallow life and people know that the self-lover is not to be trusted. As long as the self-centered person gets what they want, they’re your friend. The moment they don’t get what they want, the selfish person automatically begins to calculate how to get what they want at others expense.
If a person becomes aware that others know they are a prisoner of self-preoccupation (Want a clue? Listen to what you talk about), they will naturally become focused on disguising it. The most common way of disguising it is through religious talk/activity.
If a person genuinely desires to be set free to live a life of unselfish service to others, they should do all they can to develop a life-long habit of focusing on God. When humans become aware of and really know the heart of God (which is love), they will be gradually changed. The process of growing and changing into a person who not only sees (by the Spirit of God) but unselfishly acts to meet the needs of others is what being a Christian is all about. Unselfish giving motivated by unconditional love becomes a habit that will be immediately noticeable to others. That is the way to solid, healthy, mutually-fulfilling, eternal and God-pleasing relationships.